Archive for December, 2007

snips and snails

When I started this second pregnancy, I felt different right away.  I felt sicker and more tired, and generally more emotional than I did with Alice.  I first chalked it up to a more exhausted body, and the years that have gained on me since Alice’s birth in 2003.  I have generally been more nervous and worried with this pregnancy than my first as well.  The years between Alice and this pregnancy have seen much decline in my confidence in my instincts.  Especially when those instincts have to do with my body or what it is able to do.

When I started to get the “feeling”, the something that told me the sex of this baby, I started to doubt myself.  Since my c-section with Alice, I have had trouble trusting my feelings.  But yet the something grew stronger, and became the thought that woke me in the dead of night, whispering “boy” across the bedroom.

Well, this baby has given me my first birth present.  A confirmation of the feeling.  A strong hand patting my back, reminding me that my instincts can be right.  Gently nudging me, pushing me to trust what I feel.  It’s a beautiful beautiful thing – for this little tiny teeny baby to help bring me back to a time of increased confidence.

That’s right.  It’s a boy.  The midwives called today with the news of a holiday present – the news that the ultrasound report was conclusive this time.

My son. Our son.  What a beautiful start.

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Full of it.

Snot, that is.  My head is pounding, I can’t breath, and the redness in my eyes is only paralleled by the chapped red lips.  I think it’s time for my Glamour shot, people!

Alice brought home a lovely cold/flu virus from daycare, for which I thank her every day.   She started the family cycle last weekend, with a fever and sore throat.  And now Matt and I have had a chance to join in the fun.  At the same time.  Two parents sick at the same time do not equal a productive household.  Although the good news is that I have caught up on my Dexter screenings, so there has been some success.

I suppose I should be happy that I’m (hopefully) done with sickness before the holidays this year.  And truly Alice has been an excellent awesome little being this past weekend.  I am loving LOVING 4 years old.  Or I guess it’s more like 4-and-a-half, as her next birthday approaches soon.  But really, she is learning to get past the tantrums and the frustration.  And more importantly, it seems we have finally arrived at the independent play stage. She can now occupy herself for over an hour playing pretend.  Which is wonderful, because if I really need a break from being the customer at her restaurant where I am told what to say and do for hours. 

Baby #2 continues to do well in there.  Moving all the time and reminding me of its impending presence in the outside world.  Every now and again I’ll feel a swift kick against my bladder, as if it’s saying “yo, don’t forget about me!  I’m a coming for you sooooooonn.” (next up in my therapy session: why do I tend to equate this baby with something from a horror movie?  Can’t wait for that discussion).

Matt and I managed to get a quick getaway last week in New York.  I went for work, he went for play.  Basically that meant I dragged my tired pregnant ass around to tv meetings, and then met a rejuvenated husband at the end of the day who just wanted to rock NYC.   But despite the exhaustion, I did drag this ass out of the hotel for a great memorable night at the famous Birdland jazz club.  A magical magical night.  We got a chance to flirt over semi-ok lounge food and watch a semi-ok jazz singer, which was bliss if you can believe it.  The crowning glory for this uber-emotional mama was when the singer did a cover of Stevie Nicks’ Landslide.  Ah cheezy music, how I love thee.  Especially in a dimly lit jazz club over cheese cake.  And only in New York, of course.

So that’s about the total of what’s being going on here the last little while. Oh wait – did I forget to mention that I shocked myself with the xmas tree lights last weekend and totally flipped out and worried I had done something terrible to the baby and cried in front of Alice and called my midwife in hysterics and then was told everything was fine but that I had to make sure I felt fetal movement for the next few days?  Oh yes, that also happened.  But luckily all was fine and then a certain cold virus took over my body and gave me something new to obsess over. 

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