Tripping The Life Unbalanced

Did you come here thinking there was a baby out of the womb?  Because there isn’t.  He’s content to hang out inside my body and drive me to distraction.  He is getting a head start on that, I suppose.

But the good news is that the Black Cohosh and Evening Primrose Oil is doing the trick.  The midwife had a good ‘ole time up in my business on Monday and happily reported the remedies are doing the trick – the cervix, she is softening.   It wasn’t considered a full “stretch and sweep” because I wasn’t still fully dilated (gawd I love writing about my bits on the internet), but lordy lordy I felt the cramping instantly.  She was up there roaming around for almost 10 minutes, while I focused on breathing and pretending to ignore the little voice inside me that said “CRAP!  This is going to hurt much MUCH worse than this!”

I have another stretch and sweep scheduled for Friday morning, so we’ll see how much further I have progressed then.  Because it is a VBAC, I can’t be induced the hospital way (with oxytocin), as that is one of the risks for uterine rupture.  As well, after a week overdue things become a little more sketchy with a VBAC, and for that reason I have given my consent to go to c-section at that point.  So basically, if baby penis doesn’t want to make his way down and out before Sunday, we will move to having the c section on Monday.  Which, to be perfectly honest, I am OK with.  He’s already been in there 3 weeks longer than his sister, and the whole point of this VBAC trial for me was to let my body try and do its own thing. 

And so, we wait.   Everyone had prepared me for this crazy state of waiting you go through post due date, but really it is insanity-making.  I can see how easily it would be to become depressed during this period.  I’m trying to keep my spirits up, and sleep/read/eat a lot.  But there are moments where I start to get obsesssive about things like OHMYGOD have I not felt the baby move in 5 minutes?   Jesus lord I must drink a latte to wake him up.  And then sure enough, poor penis is jolted awake and made to move around by his freaking-out mama.  Just a shade of what is to come, my child. 

Well, due to some delays (apparently some other women had the nerve to go into labour yesterday AND today), my midwife wasn’t able to come over to check me until this afternoon.  (But I have to say – how awesome is it that she can come right to my house and check my cervix in my own home?  I will say again how grateful I am to be living in a place where this kind of care is not only available, but free!).  And after she stuck her fingers up my – ahem – lady parts, she told me what I had already guessed – the cervix, she ain’t open yet.  No dilation.  In technical terms – my cervix is not favourable.  (you can guess the fun I had with that one).   But to reassure me (because she is so sweet, after all), the midwife did say that it’s getting to a good point.  That it’s softening and ripening, and all of those odd words that make me think of fruit going bad on a windowsill somewhere.

So, now I’m taking my doses of Actaea Racemosa (Black Cohosh) and sticking the Evening Primrose Oil pills where the sun don’t shine, and waiting and waiting for my cervix to play along.  I see her again on Monday morning, where she’ll see if I have dilated so she can perform the actual stretch and sweep. 

Thanks for all of your good wishes and advice.  Glad to know I have some internets out there along for the ride with me.  Maybe you too would be interested in having my midwife come to your house and stick her gloved hand up your hoo-ha?  Or, you could always think of the stretch and sweep in a different light, the way Nadine did when she said to me “oh, there’s nothing to get anxious about.  You’re just going to get fi$(%ted by some woman.”

And no baby yet.

My official due date is this Saturday.  I just keep getting bigger and bigger and more impatient.  And yes, a little anxious about the birth itself.  But mostly impatient and wanting this part of the baby-making to be OVER already.

My midwife is coming over tomorrow to try a “stretch and sweep”, so will try to get things going.  Anybody else had this before?  I know it’s fairly common, but I just thought I would (of course) ask the internet its opinion on this procedure.  Because the internet never lets me down, you know.