Thanks for all of your kind wishes! We too are excited, while also honestly a little bewildered by this choice of ours. It’s a strange world, moving towards the 2nd child in the near future while still very much ensconced in the present world with the 1st. Currently our days are filled with kindergarten, daycare, meltdowns, colouring marathons, dinner, bathtime, fairy stories, rinse, repeat. It’s hard to see how a baby will fit into all of this, but then I spend time with Scarbie’s newly expanded family and I see how the world and heart just naturally grows to include the needs of both children.
This pregnancy is also different in the way that I feel, both physically and emotionally. As in, bloody hell I feel so much more shitty this time around. More tired, more barfy, more on edge, and waaaaaayy more weepy. Just over the first trimester hump and I really don’t see much relief in sight yet. Here are just a few of the observations I have made while lying horizontal on the couch:
1) sushi smells bad. Oh sushi, my BFF- have you always smelled so…well…fishy? I want you, I really want you. But when I insist on having you delivered to my house because the idea of cooking dinner makes my stomach turn, you let me down. I take one bite and it’s over. We’re done for now. And it’s not me, it’s you. (oh, and yes I know I’m not supposed to be eating sushi according to the prenatal nazis. But I’m pretty sure there’s a whole country of women who would disagree with that. And I trust the restaurant I order from. So back off).
2) the O.C. really was better in the first season. Thanks to the constant repeats on TV in Canada now, I’ve been able to catch up on Marissa, Ryan, Seth, and Summer. Oh those crazy rich teenagers! And the last episode of the first season where Ryan is driving away and the cover of Leonard Cohen’s Alleluia is playing? Cryfest extraordinaire. As in, it continued over dinner. Sobbing “but they loved eachooothhher and Ry-an had to ruin evverything and get Thereeeesa pregnant” to a shocked Alice and Matt.
3) the body remembers, faster than I counted on. I know everyone says it – your body remembers the first pregnancy weight as soon as you pee on that stick the 2nd time around, however I had no idea that it would not only remember but taunt me relentlessly whenever I looked in the mirror. And stand on a scale? Fuck that noise. The midwife asked me at my 1st appointment if I wanted to weigh myself for the chart and I said hell no. I’ll deal with it later, thanks very much.
4) Dry heaving is not so much fun. Neither is chewing food, actually. But hey, you know what is fun? Prescription meds that take away the all-day sickness. I was so sick by my 5th week that I broke down and filled the guilt prescription that my GP gave to me. And let me tell you I do NOT regret it. Well, for now, anyway.
5) Matt does not remember having Alice. I mean, in the way that he does not remember how much hell I was the first time around. You’d think the man would remember that I cried and tantrumed through my first pregnancy. But no. He’s all “wow, you’re so moody. Are you feeling anxious?” Um yes, asshat. You could say that I’m a teensy tiny bit overcome with thinking about things like maybe doing a VBAC and caring for two children and well hell I’m hormonal and I get to be like this right now! So there.
But overall, the crabby household is holding up pretty well and we’re excited to welcome the new member. Alice has been great, kissing my belly and already singing it songs. And if I’m going to be honest Matt hasn’t been a total asshat. The man did go out at 10PM to the grocery store to buy me a large cake made in the grocery store bakery because I was jonesing for that crappy icing they make. A whole cake, all for me, that just had the words “Kate” written in icing on the top. That, my friends, is true love.