waiting game

I’m only 38 weeks, but yet I have started the waiting game.  I am so huge and uncomfortable that I can’t help but think he will come before his due date of April 5th.  But as others have warned, I should stay away from thinking that.  So I spend my days finishing up any last minute work stuff (and when you are a co-owner of a company, there is always stuff to do), and trying to catch up on any sleep.  Because I still have the dreaded insomnia.  I am wakeful for about 4 hours in the middle of the night.  Baby penis is awake then too, it seems.  Trying to move his chubby little knees around. 

And believe me, I know they are chubby knees.  Because did I mention I am HUGE?!!  No seriously, I am.  The midwives have tried to prepare me for a possible 10 lb baby.  I blame Matt, personally.  He was his mom’s smallest baby at over 10 lbs.  Crap crap CRAP!  I think I am comfortable with that number until I write it down.  And when I say to the midwives “how can I do this?  10 lbs???” they just smile and say “your body usually doesn’t get a baby that it can’t handle.”  I think I have mentioned before how zen-like and calm those damn midwives can be when I approach them with wild eyes and flailing arms trying to outline my anxieties to them.  I love them for their manner, I really do.  But fuckery.  Oh fuckery.  The largeness of this baby scares me.

Hey – totally unrelated topic (my prerogative because my pregnant brain is all over the place these days) did any of you out there use music in labour?  As in, listen to music that soothed you or got you to a good place?  I was thinking about it, and wondering about good music to use.  My bizarro brain right now keeps wanting to listen to Gary Jules’ version of Mad World.  Is that just too weird internets? 


  1. Jana said

    That’s not weird at all. I used music the first time around. (The second time it was a planned c-section) I loved it. I say whatever soothes your soul is important to have.

    Here’s to hoping that your little guy makes an early appearance before he gets any bigger!

  2. kgirl said

    just enjoy the (relative) silence.

  3. Ingrid said

    We brought music the first time (the second time was very disorganised) and didn’t wind up using it in labour but we were lucky to get a private room and so played music our whole first day in the hospital with Bibi, which made things feel much less hospital-like. I say you have no way of knowing how your labour will go, or what you’ll want, so bring everything you can think of and just see how it goes. Honestly, I brought books both times. Books!

    I hope this guy gets moving soon – we can’t wait to meet him! Good luck good luck!!

  4. Jen said

    I listened to Harrick Connick’s Happy Ho Ho Ho to You song with my November-born daughter (who rung in at almost 10 pounds). The music bugged me (quel surprise) so I focused on magazines (Vanity Fair is best). With my son I just went straight for the magazines — and a roast beef sandwich (ice chips, as if!). The almost 10 pound labour and birth is a piece of cake, but be prepared to sit on an ice pack for a looong time thereafter.

    You’ll do great.

  5. No music.

    Those midwives. How many times I heard that comment – you’re body doesn’t grow a baby it cannot handle.


    9lb4oz, all natural, born at home. Easy peasy. Second babies rock, you’ll be fine!! And then you get bragging rights!

  6. OK — here’s my recommended playlist. kgirl inspired me

    “Enjoy the Silence” — Depeche Mode (the “All I ever wanted…” lyrics might help you to focus on what will be in your arms soon)

    “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” — Lauryn Hill (again — the lyrics: “You’d feel like heaven to touch, I want to hold you so much”)

    OK, pure cheese, but I like cheese. Especially havarti. “Ordinary Miracle” Sarah McLaughlin. On second thought, no.

    Now it can’t be all sap and tears. You need some fighting songs. Like HEART. Most people would say “Barracuda”, and I can see why. But try singing that note in “Magic Man” — it will make you feel like you’re about to shit out a baby.

    I am also a sucker for “Your Daddy Don’t Know” — by Toronto. No really, they were called Toronto. I think guilty pleasure 80s girl rock is good for birth. (See HEART! OMG! I heart Heart.)

    If you’re going down this dirty road I’ve set you upon, you’re gonna need some Pat Benetar. And it’s gotta be “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” because “Love is a Battlefield” is utterly inappropriate for this occasion and “We Belong” is far too slow.

    I also think that some happy Postal Service and Belle and Sebastian for early parts of the labour will keep you happy and chilled out.

    And last, but not least. I always, always add “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheetus to any playlist I suggest, because it may just be the greatest one-hit-wonder of all time.

    But really, you’re just going to hate every song in the moment. In fact, the birth might mar any songs you once loved by giving you and effed up association. In the moment, I remember thinking that everyone was up Tom Cruise’s ass for that silent birth stuff. But after the screaming hell of the transition and hours of being barked instructions at, there were many times I wished everyone would just shut the hell up.

    (I shudder to think what I may have unleashed in Marla as a result of this comment.)

  7. DaniGirl said

    I brought the iPod and speakers and then never used them.

    10 lbs is not so bad… and I did it twice!!!

    So excited for you, but I do second kgirl’s comment above!

  8. 38 WEEKS????

    gaaaaaaah. and I’m so close behind you. *chokes*

    Music? None for me, thanks. Unless it’s like, Vivaldi or something stringy. Maybe Ravel’s Bolero? I joke, I joke.

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