I’m only 38 weeks, but yet I have started the waiting game. I am so huge and uncomfortable that I can’t help but think he will come before his due date of April 5th. But as others have warned, I should stay away from thinking that. So I spend my days finishing up any last minute work stuff (and when you are a co-owner of a company, there is always stuff to do), and trying to catch up on any sleep. Because I still have the dreaded insomnia. I am wakeful for about 4 hours in the middle of the night. Baby penis is awake then too, it seems. Trying to move his chubby little knees around.
And believe me, I know they are chubby knees. Because did I mention I am HUGE?!! No seriously, I am. The midwives have tried to prepare me for a possible 10 lb baby. I blame Matt, personally. He was his mom’s smallest baby at over 10 lbs. Crap crap CRAP! I think I am comfortable with that number until I write it down. And when I say to the midwives “how can I do this? 10 lbs???” they just smile and say “your body usually doesn’t get a baby that it can’t handle.” I think I have mentioned before how zen-like and calm those damn midwives can be when I approach them with wild eyes and flailing arms trying to outline my anxieties to them. I love them for their manner, I really do. But fuckery. Oh fuckery. The largeness of this baby scares me.
Hey – totally unrelated topic (my prerogative because my pregnant brain is all over the place these days) did any of you out there use music in labour? As in, listen to music that soothed you or got you to a good place? I was thinking about it, and wondering about good music to use. My bizarro brain right now keeps wanting to listen to Gary Jules’ version of Mad World. Is that just too weird internets?